Category: Humor

Delaware Senate race

Delaware Senate race

I don’t live in Delaware so I don’t have a dog in this hunt. I think it is amusing the amazing heat that Christine O’Donnell is taking from everyone outside of the state of Delaware.

Maybe it is the fact that I really don’t like Bill Maher. I think he is not funny and an idiot. Whenever I watch his show, I am absolutely amazed at the stupid things that he says. When he is trying to be funny, I rarely crack a smile. When the audience laughs at his monologue I keep wondering if there is some big, mean-looking guy standing beside the “LAUGH” sign with a baseball bat ready to bash anyone that can think an intellectual thought.

So when Bill Maher, another non-resident of Delaware, goes on the rampage against Ms. O’Donnell, it makes me kind of like her. If nothing else, I feel sorry for her because Bill can get himself onto a lot of TV. Bill acts like he is smart (when what he says is often foolishness) and Bill acts like he is funny (when he couldn’t do a stand-up routine any better than I can).

I am not sure what Ms. O’Donnell stands for.  As I said, I am not from the state and therefore don’t have a dog in the hunt. I am not endorsing her here although I would never endorse her opponent. If I was a registered voter in Delaware, I would spend a lot of time getting to know Ms. O’Donnell since there is no way I would ever vote for Chris Coons, her opponent. My vote, if I were a resident, would either be a vote for O’Donnell or, if I thought she was an idiot, I would leave that contest blank and abstain.

If Ms. O’Donnell really does keep her promise, as she says in this ad, of not doing back room deals for votes, then she just might be right for the job. This promise alone, if kept, would likely make her better than most of the other 99 Senators that she will serve with in that august house. Besides, what other Senator would want to get anywhere close to her – she just might turn her foes into toads!

23 names that you may not know

23 names that you may not know

I picked this up over at CNN. Sorry to those good people for recreating their article here but it was funny and interesting enough for me to republish completely.

You know the characters, but you might not know their full names. Store these away for future trivia nights.

1. Did you know the Comic Book Guy on “The Simpsons” has a name? It’s Jeff Albertson. But that wasn’t the decision of creator Matt Groening.

“I was out of the room when [the writers] named him,” he told MTV in 2007. “In my mind, ‘Louis Lane’ was his name, and he was obsessed and tormented by Lois Lane.”

2. Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. (Ken’s last name is Carson.)

3. Cap’n Crunch’s full name is Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch. His ship is the S.S. Guppy.

4. In the Peanuts comic strip, Peppermint Patty’s real name is Patricia Reichardt

5. Snuffleupagus has a first name — Aloysius. Want more Snuffleupagus trivia? In a Sesame Street scene that never aired, Snuffy’s parents announced they were separating. But in testing, children were too devastated by the news, so the idea was scrapped.

6. The Wizard of Oz rolls off the tongue a lot easier than the man behind the curtain’s full name, Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs. From Frank Baum’s Dorothy And the Wizard in Oz:

“It was a dreadfully long name to weigh down a poor innocent child, and one of the hardest lessons I ever learned was to remember my own name. When I grew up I just called myself O.Z., because the other initials were P-I-N-H-E-A-D; and that spelled ‘pinhead,’ which was a reflection on my intelligence.”

7. Mr. Clean has a seldom-used first name — “Veritably.” The name came from a “Give Mr. Clean a First Name” promotion in 1962.

8. In a deleted scene in the 2006 Curious George movie, The Man With the Yellow Hat’s full name was revealed as Ted Shackleford. (Since the scene was deleted, perhaps the last name doesn’t count.)

9. The real name of Monopoly mascot Rich Uncle Pennybags is Milburn Pennybags.

10. The policeman in Monopoly has a name, too. You can thank Officer Edgar Mallory the next time he sends you to jail.

11. On Night Court, Nostradamus Shannon was better known as Bull.

12. On Entourage, Turtle’s real name is Salvatore Assante.

13. Sesame Street’s resident game show host Guy Smiley was using a pseudonym all these years. He was born Bernie Liederkrantz.

14. The Michelin Man’s name is Bibendum.

15. On Gilligan’s Island, Jonas Grumby was simply called The Skipper.

16. The Professor was Roy Hinkley.

17. The unkempt Shaggy of Scooby-Doo fame has a rather proper real name — Norville Rogers.

18. The Pillsbury Doughboy’s name is Poppin’ Fresh. He has a wife, Poppie Fresh, and two kids, Popper and Bun Bun.

19. The patient in the classic game Operation is Cavity Sam.

20. The true identity of The Lone Ranger was John Reid.

21. MacGyver’s first name? Angus.

22 & 23. OK, these last two aren’t fictional, but just in case it comes up, Bono was born Paul David Hewson, and The Edge’s name is David Howell Evans.

Urinal puddles

Urinal puddles

Sorry if the women that read this site don’t get this topic.

Men – have you ever noticed the puddle of liquid that is often under a urinal in a public restroom?  What is it?  Is excess spray or missed streams from lazy and careless men that have come before you?

Is it natural condensation from all the cold water that has cooled the urinal and then dripped on the floor? This would mean it is not urine but just pure water that condensed from the humidity in the air.

The next time that you take a leak and you see that small puddle of moisture that you are afraid to put your feet in, ask yourself – how did it get there?

There’s an app for that

There’s an app for that

The iPhone is the best phone that I have ever owned. It has a few things that I hate though.

First, I hate the AT&T network. I have used T-Mobile, Sprint, and Verizon in the past (as well as a pre-cursor to Verizon – Cellular One and a pre-cursor to AT&T – Ameritech). I have owned a cell phone (used to call it a car phone) since 1990. I have never had so many dropped phone calls when I am sitting in one location and the person I am talking to is in one location. AT&T has to have the worst network in the USA.

Another problem I have found with the iPhone is that they can be slippery when you’re not used to them! I’m constantly worried about dropping the phone and smashing the screen. Of course, it’s now easier than ever to find a mobile iphone repair specialist who can help you fix it, and it’s not like I’ve actually done this yet, but the worry is still there.

My final big complaint about the iPhone is the hysteria around it. Yes, I have a good number of apps that I use to do my job or get through my day. However, I don’t love the apps. To me, a phone should have this stuff just because it can. I am a bit tired of the “coolest app” conversation that inevitably happens when I talk to another iPhone user (esp. one that doesn’t use it for work related reasons).

So, when I saw this fake commercial, I knew that I had to share it.  I especially like the one with the “Phones that work locator” app. Enjoy!

The iPhone Ad You’ll Never See